I Fought the Law

I can't get enough of these ridiculous southern laws. Here are just a few. Enjoy.

Alabama

• Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
• It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
• It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
• Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
• Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
• You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
• In Auburn men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
• ‘Spray String’ is banned in Mobile.
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM.
• It is considered an offense to shower naked.
• Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

Arkansas

• A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
• Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
• In Little Rock dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
• Also in Little Rock it is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.

Florida

• Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
• It is illegal to sell your children.
• A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
• In Daytona Beach the molestation of trash cans is banned.

Georgia

• It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
• Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
• Signs are required to be written in English.

Kentucky

• Throwing eggs at a public speaker could result in up to one year in prison. (Repealed, 1975)
• One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
• It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.

Louisiana

• A law was passed with the specific intent of stating the punishment for stealing crawfish.
• Persons could land in jail for up to ten years for stealing an alligator.
• It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
• Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault,” while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault."
• It is illegal to steal a “movable” even if it classified as an “immovable”. What?

Mississippi

• If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
• Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
• In Tylertown it is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.

North Carolina

• It’s against the law to sing off key.
• Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
• If a man and a woman who are not married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.
• A three dollar tax must be paid on all white goods sold. White goods?

Oklahoma

• One may not promote a “horse tripping event.”
• It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo. I really want to know what happened to make this a LAW!
• Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
• Whaling is illegal. Are there whales in Oklahoma?
• It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
• Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings.
• Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.

South Carolina

• A railroad may not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people. Remove itself?
• No work may be done on Sunday.
• Musical instruments may not be sold on Sunday.
• Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.
• A permit must be obtained to fire a missile. No kidding?
  
• When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.
• It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
• Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.

Tennessee

• You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. Really? I'll remember that.
  
• More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
• It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
• It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.
• The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature.
• Interracial marriages are illegal.
• Skunks may not be carried into the state.

Texas

• It is illegal to sell one�s eye.
• A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather.
• When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. How?
• A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
• The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Virgina

• There is a state law prohibiting "corrupt practices of bribery" by any person other than candidates.
• You may not engage in business on Sundays, with the exception of almost every industry.
• Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars.
• Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
• No animal may be hunted for on Sunday with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2:00 AM.

Remember Mississippi...Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging! So watch out!