Redneck Caviar: March 2010

I can't get enough of these ridiculous southern laws. Here are just a few. Enjoy.

Alabama

Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
In Auburn men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.
‘Spray String’ is banned in Mobile.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

Arkansas

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
In Little Rock dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
Also in Little Rock it is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.

Florida

Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
It is illegal to sell your children.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
In Daytona Beach the molestation of trash cans is banned.

Georgia

It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
Signs are required to be written in English.

Kentucky

Throwing eggs at a public speaker could result in up to one year in prison. (Repealed, 1975)
One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.

Louisiana

A law was passed with the specific intent of stating the punishment for stealing crawfish.
Persons could land in jail for up to ten years for stealing an alligator.
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault,” while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault."
It is illegal to steal a “movable” even if it classified as an “immovable”. What?

Mississippi

If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
In Tylertown it is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.

North Carolina

It’s against the law to sing off key.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
If a man and a woman who are not married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.
A three dollar tax must be paid on all white goods sold. White goods?

Oklahoma

One may not promote a “horse tripping event.”
It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo. I really want to know what happened to make this a LAW!
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Whaling is illegal. Are there whales in Oklahoma?
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings.
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.

South Carolina

A railroad may not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred people. Remove itself?
No work may be done on Sunday.
Musical instruments may not be sold on Sunday.
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.
A permit must be obtained to fire a missile. No kidding?
When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.

Tennessee

You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. Really? I'll remember that.
More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.
The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature.
Interracial marriages are illegal.
Skunks may not be carried into the state.

Texas

It is illegal to sell one�s eye.
A program has been created in the state that attempts to control the weather.
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. How?
A recently passed anti-crime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Virgina

There is a state law prohibiting "corrupt practices of bribery" by any person other than candidates.
You may not engage in business on Sundays, with the exception of almost every industry.
Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars.
Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
No animal may be hunted for on Sunday with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2:00 AM.

Remember Mississippi...Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging! So watch out!

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